I have been clearing massive amounts of stuck emotions lately. The funny thing is, I thought I was doing really well. I’ve been happy and clear. I’m getting intuitively that in order to continue well, there were a few big traumatic experiences to tidy up. 😊
The first one was related to my failed attempt at breast feeding Stephanie. I had to give her a bottle at her 6 week check up due to her weight loss. I was devastated, yet happy for her to be able to thrive so easily. I decided to pump as much as I could to give her the irreplaceable nutrition of breastfeeding along with the bottle.
I was still working at GNC and had to pump at least once while at work. I was usually the only one there, so I had to wait until I could lock the door or until another employee came in to work. This was all very stressful and didn’t help my issue with milk production. A few weeks of doing this, I decided to ask my boss if he was okay with my doing this, the look on his face gave me his answer. I don’t even know what possessed me to ask him.
All this time I had been wanting to stay home with my little precious Stephanie. Honestly, no one could pay me enough money to raise her in place of me. So I left my job. This caused friction with Steve about finances. I understand why, one income was a difficulty we had not intended.
The guilt of the financial hardship caused me to pour out my heart to God. “If I was going to have a baby to raise, I wanted to raise her, not pay someone else.”
Soon afterward I began to develop kidney stones and was in the hospital for the pain several times. The severity of this caused Steve to have compassion and agree to let me stay home without working. I felt very relieved and together we noticed what a difference it was for Stephanie that I was home with her. She was incredibly confident and gifted emotionally at the very least. It was worth it to both Steve and I.
This caused me to pour my heart out to God again in a similar way as my asking to stay home with Stephanie. I, this time, prayed that since I was going to be home with her, I wanted to have my physical health restored. I wanted to enjoy my daughter. My Mother was unable to play with me due to her illness. I wanted more for my family.
My health has always been a priority to me due to the health issues my Mother and Father endured. I am adopted, so those issues had no claim to me biologically.
I don’t have kidney stones anymore. I sought help from traditional doctors, but nothing really came of it. I sought healing through different herbs, lemon water and an indigo practitioner name Margie Unger. I was free of the need of medicine after 3 months. I did not want to be on medicine, so I did all I could to be well.
I still take very good care of myself. I pay attention to the signals my body gives me. I meditate for answers and guidance. I do yoga to continually release the stuck emotions. Sacred sound that I have intuitively developed has helped me get more out of both.
My problems have paved my path to help others do the same. I’m so very grateful.